Dating Advice
by RenkonNairu
Summary: A short scene between Mai and Rock. Can the buxom beauty help the nervous teen cope with his 'girl-phobia? -ONESHOT-


Disclaimer: I don't own King of Fighters or related characters. Such is the property of SNK Playmore. I'm just borrowing them for some non-profit entertainment.

Dating Advice: Mai x Rock

Rock had always felt uneasy around the opposite sex. Growing up with Terry without a woman in the apartment, he'd never quite learned how to act around the distaff gender. A female's presence would always cause him great anxiety, his breath would catch in his chest, his throat would suddenly feel dry and his palms would get all sweaty. It was not a pleasant experience. So, one would understand why the young Howard boy was at his wits end when faced with an irate Shiranui Mai standing in his living room.

The voluptuous kunichi stood, her feet planted, in the perfect center of the room. She was clad in her usual red gi that only just barely managed to cover the swell of her sumptuous breast. Mai thrust her hands on her hips, making her breast bounce and Rock swallowed a lump in his throat. The phrase '_to much woman for you'_ came to mind.

"Alright, kiddo, where is he!" She demanded.

'He' being Andy Bogard, Terry's younger brother and Mai's fiancé… boyfriend… lover… _thing_. The American born ninja had barged in through the apartment's front door only minuets before and bolted it shut behind him. Rock would have asked 'Where's the fire?' or a similar cliché were it not for the fact that he already knew the source of Andy's distress. There was only one thing that made Andy Bogard run and hide like that.

Andy had asked where Terry was and after Rocks short reply of 'Out.' the blond ninja had bolted from the room as quickly and as suddenly as he had come, calling a hasty 'I was never here!' behind him. No sooner had Andy departed (this time trough the window), however, than the lovely luscious Shiranui Mai came barging in through the same front door that Rock was sure Andy had locked behind him.

She had brushed right past the confused teen, muttering a short 'Hi, Rock.' before proceeding to do a quick but thorough check of the apartment. When her searched turned up nothing the buxom beauty returned to Rock and demanded her "fiancé's" whereabouts.

And that just about brings us up to speed…

"Um…" Rock answered with all the eloquence of an idiot. "He's not here." The teen answered truthfully.

"Not here, not here either!" Mai threw her arms up in defeat and sank to the couch in despair, her breasts bouncing even more upon her butt's contact with the couch cushion. She put her head in her hands. "Not here, not at Pao Pao, not with Joe or the Yamada dojo… not anywhere…" It sounded almost like she was stifling a sob.

This was not the reaction he had expected. Rock had witnessed Andy and Mai's antics dozens of times over the years. It was hard not to know Andy (or know anyone else who knew Andy) without witnessing this little game of Chasey-Chasey he seemed to play with her. Rock had always assumed it was part of their relationship, something they do prime each other. What was the term Joe used… _foreplay_?

Mai sniffed and lifted the front flap of her gi to wipe her eyes with, inadvertently exposing the upper part of her thighs and the junction between them to Rock's idle gaze. The teen instantly blushed and looked away embarrassed.

"Do… do you want a _tissue_?" He asked without looking back at her.

The kunoichi looked back up at him, here eyes dry. "No thank you, Rock-chan. Ninja don't cry." A hollow smile. "But I wouldn't mind if you sat with me for a bit."

She scooted over to make room for him on the couch. Rock swallowed another lump in his throat but moved almost robotically to sit on the side of the couch opposite from her. He put his hands on his knees and faced forward so as to avoid looking at the feminine curves of her indecently exposed body.

"What do you think it is…?" She asked forlornly, resting her elbow on the couch's armrest and her cheek in her hand.

"I'm sorry?"

"What do you think is the reason that Andy won't marry me?" She clarified.

"Well, I… I really don't know." The teen began. "Terry's not married either. But then again, that's from lack of a partner instead of just not wanting to."

"How is Terry, by the way?" Mai turned to look at Rock. "How're things between him and Mary?"

"Terry's good… He and Mary are still doing their casual more-than-friends-but-less-than-a-couple thing." Rock answered dutifully, his eyes fixed on a spot on the wall directly in front of him.

"Neither of them want to take it to the next level?"

"Don't think so."

"Must be a Bogard thing." The kunoichi muttered, more to herself than to Rock.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?" The boy ventured, finally turning to look at her. "Why are you trying so hard to force Andy to marry you? Wouldn't it be easier to just find another guy? I'm sure you must have fleets of men following your tails, willing to give their right arm for the chance to be your husband."

Mai was silent for a moment. Rock wondered if she even knew just how attractive she really was. Few women (in his experience) knew how beautiful they were, but Mai was the ultimate idea of what made a woman attractive, she was every man's wet-dream… She had to know that she could have her pick of any man she wanted, so why did she keep wasting her time on a bland and personalityless fail-ninja?

"But none of them would be Andy…" She finally answered.

Well that didn't answer any of his questions. As per usual, Shiranui Mai was just plain _difficult_.

They lapsed into an awkward silence after than. They didn't have much in common and so had nothing to say to each other. Rock turned his attention back to that spot in the wall so as to avoid his eyes lingering on the more intimate parts of her body that her costume barely managed to conceal.

"You don't mind if I wait here for Terry, do you?" She asked after the silence had worn on for a few minuets. "He might have an idea where Andy is."

"Uh..." The boy hesitated. Mai made him feel awkward and uncomfortable but that wasn't an excuse to turn someone away when they were in need. "Uh, sure… Do you want a soda or something? Terry's got beer in the 'frige if you want that."

"No thank you."

The boy relaxed a bit. He could play the role of host for a while. "I was gonna play Neo Geo Battle Coliseum, wanna do a versus?"

"No. I have no interest in video games." The kunoichi shook her head. "But I'll watch you play."

Rock relaxed and turned on the game console. It was far easier to keep his cool and not let the fact that there was a beautiful, curvey, half-naked woman sitting next him when there was an exiting 2-D fighting game in front of him.

Mai seemed to grow board with the game after a few rounds and turned her attention to straitening up the apartment. Terry and Rock were both single men, albeit Rock was still just a _young_ man, but their apartment still managed to look like every other bachelor pad in the world. That is to say, it looked a mess.

Mai stood from the couch and occupied herself by throwing away old newspapers, empty soda and beer cans, putting dirty laundry in the laundry hamper… things like that.

"Want something?" Rock called over his shoulder. It was much easier to talk with Mai when he was distracted and she wasn't in his direct line of site.

"No thank you. I'm fine." She replied.

After a while, though, Rock began to feel that nagging feeling people get when they know they're being a bad host and so shut the game off and turned his attention back to Mai. "You don't have to do that, ya know."

"I don't mind." Under normal circumstances she probably would have minded. Shiranui Mai did not enjoy doing chores. But at the moment it was just something to occupy her time until her AWOL fiancé's brother returned home so that she could grill him for information.

"But you're a guest, you shouldn't be cleaning."

Mai just shrugged. "I suppose we could try talking."

Ugh, talking… the one thing Rock couldn't do with a woman. He was abysmal at conversing with the opposite sex. He couldn't even chat with the girls at his high school, girls with whom he shared common interests and issues. There was no way he was going to be able to converse with Mai. Between his 'girl-phobia' and the generational gap between them they had absolutely nothing to talk about!

"So, I hear Terry's finally gonna let you compete in the next King of Fighters tournament." Mai began. "Congratulations."

The King of Fighters tournaments, of course! They could talk about KOF and fighting in general. Rock was glad that there was some common ground between them after all.

"Yeah!" He smiled broadly. "But only if I can keep my grades up. He's almost acting like a real dad."

"That's because he almost _is_ a real dad."

"I guess… But hey," Rock swung the conversation back to KOF, "I hear that every year, regardless of who sponsors it, every King of Fighters tournament has a nefarious purpose."

"Yeah, mostly." The kunoichi shrugged. "But after competing for ultimate power, trying to prevent total world domination and-or destruction a few times you kinda get used to it."

"I see… Hey, who's sponsoring the next tournament?"

Mai thought for a moment. "Kaine something, Heinlien I think."

Rock paused. That named sounded awfully familiar to the orphaned teen… "Has he been to any of the tournaments before?"

"Don't think so. I've never heard of him." She shrugged. "But whatever. So, how's school going? I bet your classmates are psyched that you're gonna be competing in one of the most elite fighting competitions in the world."

"Uh… they don't know…" Rock answered awkwardly. "I kinda just told them I'd be out for a while for personal reasons. I don't want my classmates to know I'm a fighter."

"Why not?"

"I just… don't, because… of… _the reason_!"

"And this reason would be…?"

Rock's face burned. Terry had asked a similar question when he had said he didn't want his classmates to know about his fighting prowess. The boy hadn't told him for fear of being teased, but Mai probably wouldn't teas him about it. She was a shameless tease, but not that kind of tease.

"Ya see, there's this girl…"

"Oh my gosh!" The kunoichi practically squealed. "Little Rock-chan has a girlfriend!"

He didn't think she meant it as such but her words had a subtle feeling of teasing to them. His face burned with embarrassment, he shouldn't have told her. This thought, however was cut off, quite suddenly, when Mai wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into an affectionate hug, inadvertently pressing his face right between her breasts.

"I'm so proud of you!" She continued. "I told Terry you were just a late bloomer! So, so, tell me everything. How'd you meet? What was your first date like? When was your first kiss? Ah, young love… its so _cute_!"

Rock desperately struggled out of her embrace and breathed deep gulping breaths of air when his face was finally freed from between her sumptuously soft breasts.

"I think you have the wrong idea." He said. "She's in my sixth period history class, but she just barely knows I exist. We've never been on a date before and we certainly haven't kissed. I've never kissed…"

"Aw…" The kunoichi sounded so disappointed. "Your 'girl-phobia' again?"

Rock stifled a groan. Did everyone know about his stupid girl-phobia! "I just… the opportunity to ask her out hasn't presented itself. That's all!"

"Do you want me to teach you how to ask a girl out?" Mai offered.

"Eh?"

"Its easy." She assured him.

"Well, I… I donno…"

"Look, I'll show you. What kind of girl is she?"

"Well, she's…" Rocks face felt hot and he knew he was blushing. "She's kinda like Mary, only my age and not blond and she's a pacifist. That's why I don't want her to know that I'm into fighting."

Mai had a difficult time wrapping her mind around that one. Blue Mary and 'pacifist' did not belong in the same sentence together, the blond detective was anything but a pacifist.

"I… see… and have you spoken with this girl before?"

"Um, well I didn't speak so much as make noise at her." The hapless teen felt so awkward and embarrassed. "I think my exact words were 'Hi yuh-mm-uh', and then I ran away and hid in the boys' bathroom."

Mai resisted the urge to face-palm. "Let me teach you how to talk to girls. Pretend I'm your crush. Now what do you say?"

"Uh…" Rock looked at Mai, she would never pass for a high school student for three obvious reasons. Two of them stuck out from her chest and were very attention grabbing and distracting. The boy shook himself when he realized he's been staring. "Uh, hi."

"Hi, don't I know you from my history class?" Mai responded in character, or rather what she imagined the girl would sound like. It was nothing like her.

"Uh, yeah. Listen, I uh…"

"Be more assertive." The kunoichi ordered. "Girls don't like wishy-washy men that can't finish their own sentences."

Rock groaned quietly but did as he was told all the same. "I know this cool café if you, maybe, wanna go sometime. If you're free that is…"

"Not good enough."

Rock glared at her. This was annoying and embarrassing. Why couldn't she just let him deal with his own girl-problems on his _own_. They were _his_ problems after all.

"You're going out with me!" He said like the heir to Geese Tower that he was. "Show up at the Pao Pao café at six and wear something pretty."

Mai smacked him with her fan. "To forceful. You're supposed to be asking, not ordering. Any woman with half a shred of self respect would kick you in the balls after a pick-up like that." She put her fan away, where Rock did not want to think about. "Try something like this: 'I really admire you. This feeling I have… its more than just common friendship. I like you more than a friend. We should go out."

"WHAT THE _HELL_ DID I JUST WALK IN ON!"

Rock and Mai both turned to see that Terry had finally returned home in time to witness Mai ask little Rock out on a date (or so it appeared to them).

_Awkward!_

…

END


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